Day 37: Pain


My body is often yelling at me to stop with all the physical activity.  I have been much more active lately than normal and my asana practice is being challenged constantly.  Standing and sitting on a marble floor is not the best surface for your bones but I have been doing this for a while now.  When I talk about pain, I am not talking about over dramatic pain but instead talking about that pain that feels like progress. 

Starting a couple weeks ago, I noticed my legs having pain much like the ‘growing pains’ I had a child.  The pain shoots down your legs, goes into the bone structure of the knees and all the way down to the ankle.  It’s part muscle pain and part bones pain as I am twisting my bones too.  My mind goes many places.  It reminds me that I’m almost 40, I’m over weight and other negative things.  I’m listening through a filter.  

Another painful place is my abdomin.  I have become a vegetarian fairly recently and have made valiant efforts to change my eating habits.  I hate my midsection.  This is causing me insecurity but what else can I do to change this.  The gym will make my asana practice more difficult as the gym tenses my muscles up and there is very little time for the gym.  I wake up at 4:45am and start working and stop at 9:30pm.   

At this point, I need a dietician to help me.  I have also been reading on what my body type should and shouldn’t eat.  I am a Pitta/Kulpa body type with Pitta being dominate.  I just learned that Yerbe Mate is not good for my body type.  So, now that I have the discipline to not eat an entire chocolate cake in one sitting I have to limit my foods even further.  It all causes pain in my brain. 

i need to remind myself that all this pain is voluntary and that it will take some pain to my huge changes.  I went to Sri Lanka not too long ago and was told that I don’t look like a yoga teacher.  My first reaction was to ask what a yoga teacher looks like.  However, I don’t look the heaviest as I don’t feel the healthiest.  In any case my body is changing and the fat is crying and bones are getting used to being completely active again.