As I have been focusing on an open mind, I am bombarded by my resistance to certain things. I still find myself comparing myself to these Instagram Celebrities with over 100K followers. I found yesterday that I had hit my limit in asana practice and just gave up because I didn’t want to do it anymore. I had written about the resistance to an assignment last week during my teaching practices class. Is my focusing on one aspect of life highlighting the opposite to challenge me?
In my experience with the assignment, I wrote about how I thought the assignment was stupid and pointless. I had resistance because I felt writing out a lesson plan for just one asana to do a 10 minute presentation was a waste of time. I fought and fought with myself to actually do the assignment, waited until the night before to type up my lesson plan and gave a mediocre presentation on Trikonasana.
Regarding yesterday during asana practice, I was done. After 2.5 hours of an anatomy lecture, my brain was fried and my legs were already hurting from sitting in sukasana the entire time. We hit legs pretty hard the day before and told the teacher that our legs were spent. He started with legs and I was finished, defeated and I resisted. We ended up not doing asana in class after another student spoke up. I can’t believe that I gave up like that.
I hate comparing myself to these fake people. These social media celebrities grow their following with automation and fake bot farms. The yoga sector is pretty popular because every time I post on my own Instagram accounts (@jeremyeatonyoga), I get up to 80 likes by the majority of account like the one mentioned above. They reply in automation and want nothing to do with a well-built relationship. They want you to like their photos of the their perfect abs on a deserted beach somewhere exotic in this world. It infuriates me.
With the resistance, I am able to live and keep pressing on. The fear of failure and disappointment is not living on my shoulder but still comes up. This is primary root of my resistance. I don’t want to fail so much that I don’t even try. Now that I’m able to recognize this, I can acknowledge this fact and figure out how to move on. So, even though I have several people say that they would love to have my life, there are some days that I don’t wish that on anyone.