Day 90: Reflect

Back in 2004, I used to be so depressed because I knew that life had so much to offer than what I was getting in a community where the art world is almost nonexistent.  I had all of these talents but nowhere to put them.  Naturally, I found myself in the world where everyone that is bored and more ambitious than their surroundings, drugs. Drugs were the thing that made everything ok because I wasn’t focused on my lack of anything except for the next score.  How do people end up this way?

During high school, I was the least likely to turn out the way that I did.  I had tried alcohol and marijuana but I was too afraid of my parents and getting trouble to make getting high or drunk a habit.  I was drum major and, ironically, drug free superstar for 1998.  During college, I tried new things and started to notice a downward spiral all the way until my eventual move back to my hometown.  Community leaders should be aware of the things that lead people to drugs before they judge the person that once had dreams of doing good in the world.

When people are trying to do their best, failure can cause a mental meltdown.  Failure can show up in life many different ways.  A failed marriage because someone cheated, a bad grade on an exam, a failed attempt at creating a stable household or a strict working father that wasn’t aware of his actions or words can lead to the a person not feeling worthy of life itself.  If you have ever been down a dark path in life, you know that something triggered that series of actions taking them away from their dreams.

We often blame the person that is on drugs for their addictions.  This is true to a certain extent but aren’t we all responsible for the way we treat others?  Are we not all reliant on each other in this world?  So, isn’t it fair to say that someone’s drug addiction is our problem as well?  Somewhere along the way, something happened to that person to where they wanted to feel numb.  We all deserve kindness regardless of circumstance or stage of life we are in.  

I’m happy that my life has turned out the way that it did.  I eventually got on a path of helping others after a lot of working on myself, becoming stable and realizing that I am worthy of life and anything that comes my way.  I learned that the actions that others took were just because they were dealing with their own stuff.  They lacked the understanding because they didn’t feel able or didn’t have to energy to help.  We all have things that we are not proud of in our past, but if you look at these things as blessings instead of regret the world becomes a brighter place full of possibilities.