During my childhood, change meant that my father was unhappy with something about you as a person, something in his own life that he was unhappy with or anything that was indifferent to his own views or standards. I got really good at changing certain parts about me. Later, this translated into an identity crisis because I was changing myself for everyone or any giving situation. I would agree to things that I didn’t agree with, hang around with people who didn’t value me as a person and give up anytime there was something else easier.
Many people want to change for various reason. However, my lesson from the past made change about everyone else but myself. Authenticity is the only thing that keeps you being who you are. When you lose this ability or feel trapped, are you being yourself or fitting to a situation to make life easier for someone or yourself? That’s not authenticity.
Authentic people are rare. I would say the largest group of authentic people I have met were in San Francisco while I was studying for my BFA in Fine Art. I had 6 roommates that I admired and loved very much. We all lived in a 3-bedroom apartment. It was cramped but the universe blessed me with these amazing souls. We cooked together, had tea together and shared some of life’s most intimate details. I discovered so much of myself in that apartment with my brothers and sisters.
They had no problem to change jobs or complete life paths. Besides the family that was created in Hotel Broderick, its branches extended far and wide and, now, even wider. I have a friend that is a chef all over the world and a yoga instructor, a friend that made her all the way to live in Paris and several friends living in the mountains making the most of life. They chose all of these. I heard them talk about their dreams around our dining room table. Then, I watched them come true at that same table.
So, rather than saying that you want to change other people or your environment, start changing those things within yourself. You will be surprised how much the world will seem different because of changes you made for yourself and by yourself. Instant and change are two words that don’t generally belong together if you are changing with long-term goals in mind. Long-term change is slow moving. Start with the first brick and, eventually, you have a whole house.