Right before leaving for my trip to Nepal, my partner’s mother had fallen ill resulting in him traveling back to the US. This normally would be no problem but with my mandatory leave from India, per my visa requirements, and our 4 dogs, it created quite the obstacle. I was sorry worried about things that are beyond my control. What if something happened to Doug’s mom while I wasn’t reachable and Doug had to go through this all alone? What if I was denied entry back into the country for some bizarre reason?
All of these questions started to mount in my mind and the stress started to show through my actions. This being the eve of my dream vacation. I have to leave worry aside and know that everything is ok. I need to balance my concern for my partner and his mother with having a good time so that I can recharge myself. Without recharging myself, I cannot be a light for others as I have written about previously in other posts.
I vow to leave behind all the uncertainty and doubt to forge ahead into this unknown land and treat myself. I have been working so hard for so long that I deserve to have some sort of break from the ordinary day-to-day that my life has become. I love teaching yoga and I love learning more about the practice of yoga but with the other daily routines regarding my job everything has become simplified and just that - a routine. More than a routine, my life has become a series of check boxes that have to be filled in everyday. I used to think that checking these boxes off would lead me to somewhere.
Since, I have learned that these boxes get checked off because it is my duty to do so. First, I have a duty to myself. I constantly check in with my personal well being as I have sworn that my mental health will never be neglected ever again. Part of the reason for this trip is because while I love the big city and all of its 23.8 million people, I need the mountains, fresh air and abundance space to explore, breathe and find peace in. No one can stay above water while swimming for days lost at sea.
So, my trip begins tomorrow. I can already feel the adrenaline running through my body. I am anticipating a lot of unknown and a lot of adventure. I have no idea how we are going to make it through the Nepal border and how we will reach Kathmandu once we cross but I know that everything will work out just fine. Here’s to the unknown and here’s to leaving behind worry.
