Day 196: Thankful

I just got finished teach yoga for about 5 hours straight. If this is what life can be like, sign me up. I spoke this morning about being grateful for every single victory. I asked my students to recall every single victory they felt in class. I told them to replace their negative thoughts with positive ones. I told them to hold their heart and to know that they could feel this peace anywhere, anytime and at their own will.

Now, I’m home and I have been recalling my words and noticing that I need to heed my own advice. I can’t believe how far I have come from not being able to touch my toes to being able to touch my hands flat on the floor in front of me. My largest challenge is my thinking. I am constantly putting myself down and having negative thoughts about trusting people. However, now that this is acknowledge, I can start working on this behavior.

I have no idea where life is going to take me three months from now. I have no expectation of becoming some celebrity yoga teacher or some internationally known artist. I have lost this somewhere along the way of being realistic, being told that I wouldn’t make it and, seemingly, having people that are hellbent on keeping me from my dreams. I used to think it was foolish to get back up again like a punching bag but maybe that’s what this life has in store for me. Perhaps in a past life I was someone that took life for granted and, in this life, my lesson is to have every opportunity being treated as a blessing.

If you look at my late teen years and my twenties, I am just thankful to be alive. That I made it this far is a complete and total blessing. The fact that I still continue to have the will to live is a miracle because just a few short years ago I was ready to end it all. I look at my current problems and they all are my own. The fact that I have a hard time forgiving people for screwing me over doesn’t mean that I don’t try every chance I get. I do this regardless of them even knowing that I am still hurt by this. There are others that I wonder if they are just evil.

Regardless of your circumstances or struggles, you have more victories to celebrate. The very fact that you are able to read this is a victory for both you and me. It is a miracle that someone thought of the internet and made it happen. So many times we think things are impossible but the trust is that we just don’t want to work hard enough to make it happen. So, if you are having a hard time forgiving someone, make the choice to get over it because you are missing out on the amazing world around you.