There comes a time when you look around you and everything is a blur. When this happens your pressence is usually absent and the joy is lost. I am currently trying to refocus my art career.
For the last couple of months, I have been running around on the pages of the internet researching engagement techniques for my Facebook pages and looking at other artists' websites. You know - the whole business side of owning your own business. At one point today, I rolled away from my desk in my chair that I am in about 7-12 hours a day and got a wide angle view of my life.
I have been checking off certain boxes and, at times, feeling shame for not checking off others. I have finally learned there are 24 hours in a day. However, now, I try to cram as much into these hours as possible. I guess, the phrase 'Excuse the motion blur' could be a mantra. While checking off all the boxes and feeling that instant gradification we are all trained to strive for, I forgot that I was doing all this to uncover the joy that I had been missing. After all, I am transitioning to make a career out of what I love.
In realizing this, I had to step back and remind myself of my intentions. If I can't be joyful while doing this, I have to ask myself "Is this something that I truly enjoy?" Or "What about this do I not find enjoyable?" This is the beauty of redesigning your life. I commit.
I have faith in this process called life. In these moments where my heart is working hard and my breath is heavy, I have to remember the only race I'm in is with myself. So, it's time to start being present and enjoying this ride. Otherwise, life is just one beautiful pan shot.