Day 43: Fears, Negativity and Anger Pt. 3

After finishing the Life of Shri Yogendra, I can’t help feel but more related Shri Yogendra.  Towards the end of the book he encounters a foe that hinders him creating the space that is now The Yoga Institute.  This hinderance was in spite of him by a different ‘yogi’.  If a man so pure of heart could have enemies, how can I think that I would be exempt from such hatred?  


While on a different board of our downtown, I got too close for facts again and felt it appropriate to resign from my position.  This board was making decisions behind closed doors without the entire board present.  One member, I remember vividly saying at a meeting, ‘It’s already been decided.’  Another board member had a romantic affair with the Executive Director.  I believe that was the statement that pissed everyone off.  Isn’t it wrong to have your lover creating your job description?   Unfortunately, my hometown operates in this manner.  According the book, this type of behavior is not new nor is it fading anytime soon.

I believe, too, that these two lovers were the ones that helped push the attempted restraining order against me.  The executive director got her nails done at the salon that my friend that stole from me moved to.  Can you tell that I live in a very small town?  While my friend enjoyed Christmas with her stolen goods, I could say goodbye to friends before I left for India.  That still clouds my heart along with the friends that I know have gotten their hair washed in that shampoo bowl.  It’s just wrong.

However, I am trying to conquer all of this by letting it be with at they have to live with. I survived.  I may not be able to community theatre in St Joseph anymore because I spoke the truth.  I will most likely never participate on a board ever again especially in Downtown St Joseph.  My ex-friend has to constantly look over her shoulder and be in hiding with her boyfriend as he is, last I knew, hiding from the law in Connecticut.  Those people know what they did.  They may think about it or they probably don’t.  The fact is people that do harm cling together and it doesn’t affect them at all.  Everyday they are living their lives as I am asking myself why are they still affecting mine.  

Speaking the truth is the most freeing thing you can do.  Unfortunately, speaking the truth these days means paying usually higher consequences than the person spouting lies.  They can live and sleep with knowing that I still, after all this, I don’t hate them.  Even Wesley and, his wife, Jodie, I don’t hate them.  They may hate me because they know that I know the truth and there is nothing they can do about that.  They know that in their mind they did something wrong and, for whatever reason, they don’t want to clean it up.  So, for my Garden Grove, CA reader, I like you too and thank you for being a consistent reporter and reader.  The lies that you tell or cover for no longer keep me up at night and I no longer care if they keep you up either.  I wish you peace for this chapter of my life, through this writing, is now closed.