In our thought sharing group, we shared our ideas of what a good relationship was. We shared things about betrayal in intimate relationships, we shared about experiences about friends trying to cheat us and we all shared the same belief that we can’t change any person except ourself. It was very comforting to know that in these common experience, we also shared the same emotions. Our conclusions were all very different regardless of the corner we came from.
In this sharing of thoughts I was speaking about letting the other person not have power over you anymore. I shared my experience in thinking that it sad to think that a person has to constantly run and hide and look over his shoulder somewhere in the Rocky Mountains. He believes in who he is so much that it is more important to be himself than to be truthful. He has to protect himself from the very problem he has created.
I want to do good in this world and because that very fact, there will be an equally opposite force trying to prevent me from doing good. These people have to coexist in the same life. I wish nothing ill of anyone who has done me wrong just as I hope that no one wishes me ill for the wrong I have done to them in my life. I wish this on a level that I now think of the grass and the violence I impose on it by simply walking. To be present to this love is what they mean by light.
I have actually worked very hard on this forgiveness that it has exhausted and consumed me. Another cheat will get away with what they have done and I leave a with a lesson that equates him to a person that just needs to know love in his life. It makes me very sad to know that there is so much hate in this world but even more disturbing is the deprivation of love that permeates this planet. However, these both have to exist and there is no need to do anything about it. Just like in the lesson that Joy has to learn about the character, Sadness, in the Disney hit, Inside Out.
I feel an overall grasp in managing my emotions. This is present also in my asana practice. I keep going from feeling secure to a place of I don’t know who I am. Perhaps this is because I am completely looking how I live everyday through a microscope and finding things that not only useless but toxic. Just like a cardboard box that sits without being cleaned out or organized, it will grow bugs they will eat anything they can including the cardboard itself. So, it’s spring have you done the cleaning of your emotional closet?