I have to often remember that I am worthy of love from others because growing up I didn’t feel like I was worthy enough to breathe air. When you are trying to rewire your brain, the amount of work can be staggering because not only are you dealing with everyday life but combating your normal ways of reacting to it. I know now what is not for me and what does not serve me. Also, I know what I need to do to have my cup full.
People often forget the importance of a full glass for yourself. I couldn’t see for the longest time the importance of feeling worthy. The amount of self-worth was a hindrance in most things that I did. My failed college education in the public system and my lack of being able to stay in one place. I loved to move because if my problems were too much in one place, I could always move to somewhere else. Luckily, this is not why I decided to travel.
When I decided to travel, I wanted nothing more than to start with a clean slate. Be careful with what you wish for because now the world is my stage and it is realized. I have started to make friends and I am changed in that. I don’t automatically let people in. They need to be worthy as well. Worthy in the fact that they need to know that they are worth of someone’s love.
Most people that I have let in the circle haven’t stayed long as this happens when you start to let go. Also, I have disconnected from several people because I have no desire for drama or bs. People bring all kinds of baggage and I no longer carry their bags for them as I’m shedding my own baggage. The change is strange but refreshing.