Day 70: Letting Go


Until we really know the impact of holding something negative, we will never know the effect that holding on to this emotion, feeling or grudge has on the mind and the body. I have written many times about negative situations that I don’t know what to with. In complete honesty, I just have to let the feelings, emotions, and grudges go. I have tried many techniques of letting these people be free from my mind so I am not carrying what they did to me around anymore. The things that people have done does not affect my karma and I do not have to continue reliving these events over and over.

People who have been abused or taken advantage of repeatedly start to form a pattern of abuse. They start to forget their worth and that they have a place in this world. Being a victim of this abuse myself, I can offer several ways that we can break this cycle and start to move on.

When you start to relive the emotions of your abuse, think about positive memories with that person or in general.

We often forget that we are in control of our emotions. We have the power to suppress emotions we don’t want to feel. Honestly, we do this all the time on a smaller scale. If you are tired of feeling or reliving the emotions of abuse, it may be the healthiest thing for you to do so that you can gain control back over your life. If you ever feel start to suicidal tendencies or thoughts about death after a traumatic event, please talk to a professional immediately.

Start writing in a journal.

Through personal experience, I started writing poetry in college and this help greatly in healing from the abuse I experienced in my childhood. I wrote very abstractly so that I could conceal what happened to me and it helped tremendously. My creative writing teacher encouraged my writing to help me heal. I wrote poems about being a puppet and talked a lot about garbage. This was the beginning of my journey and gave me the courage to seek professional help. Writing where no one will see it will help you see the reality of your situation and get it out of your brain and onto paper.

Write a letter to the person you are experiencing negative emotions and burn it.

As I said before, writing down your emotions on paper is a healing practice that gets the thoughts out of your mind and on paper. If this is something small or large, write a letter to the person that abused you. Be honest about your feelings and don’t censor your thoughts. Write until there is nothing left in your mind. Drink a lot of water during this process and make sure you are resting properly. After you have written everything you have in your mind, fold the letter, take it outside and burn it. There is a magical release that happens when you burn the letter. Again, this is a great way to release your thoughts.

Start writing down 10 positive points every day.

I write 10 positive things that have happened during the day or things that I am grateful for. This will start training your mind to think positively. At first, start small and remember that this is for you only. Many people write these in groups and start to run out of things to say because they are writing them for the others in the group and not themselves. Thinking positively will help you to see that tomorrow is another day full of exciting new things to happen. We all have bad days, but when we are present to the positive things that happen the good always outweighs the bad.

These are all things that I have tried in releasing my abusers from my mind. Adult abuse is nothing to be ashamed about and it doesn’t make you less of a person for being hurt. The thing to take from it is that you are not what your abusers say you are and you don’t have to be in the situation forever. Every day we wake up we have an infinite amount of possibility of different choices to make. People grieve and process in many different ways but these are some suggestions that worked for me. Also, remember that healing takes time and patience, so take things day by day and remember that healing is a journey, not a destination.