Day 68: Smile

For the past few years, I have been in contact with people that don’t always understand English. They have passed by me with facial expressions of concentration, anger, sadness and without mindfulness. The one language that we all understand is the smile. I have made it a habit to smile, wave and/or acknowledge the other person regardless of how unapproachable the person may seem. To my surprise, most of the time I am met with a smile and some form of positive acknowledgment back.

Today in the Bhagvat Gita class, we wrapped up our chapter on Karma Yoga and started Bhakti Yoga. My own affiliation with religion has been with music. I had a horrible experience in a Christian Church while I was a music minister. I have never met so many people that I would call God-less because I was treated miserably. Some of these people I would even say lack a heart to love someone. My first impression of being a music minister was through a newspaper call-in line say that I came in trying to be a ‘rockstar’.


After this experience, I closed any relationship with any higher power and focused, instead, on finding every way possible to avoid feeling like that ever again. In the past year, I have tried to find a relationship with a God or figure out what spiritual path to follow. I know that the traditional organized religion path is not for me. I lack the understanding of how religion becomes political when money is involved. Pledging your money is worthless but pledging your service is monumental.

I spent several years in churches playing the trumpet and singing knowing that God (or whoever) blessed me with two gifts - artistic talent and the ability to serve. I used to think that I was put here on this planet to make it just a little more beautiful. I am realizing that this true with every fiber of my being. All these tests that I have been put through are testing my strength and making me stronger at the same time.

I’m not sure if because of my quest for knowing what this higher power is can explain the reason for my dedication to my yoga practice. I do know that believing in myself has been helping conquer my depression and allowing me to forgive and start to even forget the people that I have let have power over me. I have been able to move on a lot easier and not engage in things that are not for me. I have started to give up being a fighter and instead I have started to find peace.