We all have those situation where we need to ‘know our audience’. However, perhaps it’s the audience that needs to expand and not you that needs to filter yourself or change per your environment. It makes me very sad to see a grown adult do this in an adult situation. Pull up your boot straps and get your raincoats on because someone is bound to cry. In this post, I will point out 3 ways that filtering yourself is just not working.
1. You Turn the Filter Off in Situations Where It Doesn’t Matter (Gossip)
In many, if not all, social circles, we ourselves gossip or we listen to gossip. The real question to ask is - Where does that gossip go? I have yet to meet a person that doesn’t or hasn’t participated in some form of gossip. In these situations, I often find that people have no problem ripping that filter off like a bandaid, but in situations where their opinion would really matter they choose to remain silent or slap the filter back on. It’s a strange phenomena where people limit themselves where they could do good and uninhibitedly rant for no more than entertainment value. So, if not anything for the world just to be a better place just stop it because your gossip doesn’t matter.
2. You Don’t Feel Important/Valid/Worthy
You matter. In my observation of people, they tend to always want to be nice and, generally, good human beings. It is a mystery why the worst is always assumed of people when this principle is true. In today’s culture, it often feels like people already come to a situation defeated or depleted. In work environments, schools and homes, people filter themselves because of their feelings of irrelevancy, unworthiness and invalidity.
3. You Are Giving Away Your Power
When I have found myself putting my filter over my lips, I feel like I gave away some of my power. There is one simple answer - Just don’t do it. It is always ok to say that you need to take a moment to yourself and breathe. When confronted with a situation that requires you to be silent or be the bad guy, always - always - be the bad guy. The truth is way more important than sparing someone’s feelings and probably hurting others. Stand in your power and do what’s right. The same applies to situations where you need to reach out for feelings of loneness or depression. You become empowered just by not giving away your power.
In normal everyday life, people are constantly trying to be nice and not rock the boat. After all, there is enough negativity in the world, right? Standing up for what is right is not adding to the drama in the world. It is shining light on the darkness. It is joining someone that needs help. So, the next time you feel that you need to put the filter on take a deep breath and remember the courage that you have while you are gossiping and use that power to save the world.